Thanks everyone, just logged on at work this am and got a real laugh out of many of these.

How about this one:

'Keep honking, I'm reloading'

I've also seen:

'my kid had sex with your honor student'

I preffer: "My son knocked up your honor student"
or: "My kid sold drugs to your honor student"

During the Goldwater/Johnson election campaigns...

AuH2O = K9P

My favorite....My girlfriend was nude dancer of the month at Mons Venus Gentleman's Club.

My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

I miss my EX, but my aim is improving.

I may be schizophrenic,
but at least I have each other.

GOD doesn't recognize groups of people,
Only religions do that

Hungry out of work? Eat your import.

Old Truck-drivers never die, they just get a new Peterbilt.

Old Cowboys never die, they just smell that way!

WHATEVER HITS THE FAN WILL
NOT BE DISTRIBUTED EVENLY.

This one's on my helmet

Current personal favorite (that's coming true)

O'bama
O'sh*t

On the back of our car: "Eventers do it three ways in three days" We're 3-day eventers, ride dressage, cross country and show jumping (on horse back) over the course of two to three days depending on the show.

Personal Favorite

My Ex gives great Headaches

Oldie but a goodie

Please God let there be one more oil boom
(I promise not to piss it all away this time)

" BAD COWGIRL go to MY room"

"If it Fly's, Floats, or Flirt's Just rent it.
Its Cheaper that way."

' Never have a heart attack while playing charades'

'Avoid cliches like the plague'

'NEVER BELIEVE GENERALIZATIONS'

Back of a Harley rider's T Shirt:
If you can read this shirt..,
the bitch fell off!

I think you got some 'splainin to do, Lucy...