OK, I'll start.

I saw this bumper sticker on a car recently. You know how some vehicles have stats like '0-60 in 4.8 seconds'.

Well the bumper sticker read:

0 to B!TCH in 1.5 seconds!

Another one I saw, with a MILF driving:

If you're going to ride my butt, you'll have to pull on my hair too!

I saw the "hair" one too. A dude was driving. I almost yacked...

"Jack Russels are shaped like a football for a reason"

" The more I get to know most people,
The more I love my dogs."
Also
"My dog is smarter than your Honor Student."

My equestrian daughter has this on the back window of her pickup truck:

"My horse bucked off your Honor Student"

"Honk if you're Horny!"

"When I get old, Im moving North and driving slow!"

HOw about,

'Horn Broken, watch for finger'

"I live with fear everyday...but sometimes she lets me race"

from a NO FEAR bumpersticker

"Honk if I'm paying your mortgage."

" I married Ms. Right, Her first name is Always."

For the conservatives in da house:

"Instead of spreading my wealth.........
.........Spread my work ethic"

or


It's not trickle down wealth..... it's trickle up poverty"

"If you don't like my driving, get off the sidewalk"
"As a matter of fact, I do own the whole damn road"
"Danger. I drive like you do"
"My kid beat up your honor student"

"Don't laugh, your daughter might be in here"
"Friends help you move, real friends help you move bodies."

When I lived in Bakersfield California (lots of underachievers)I saw one that said;

"My child was inmate of the month at Lerdo State Prison."

The only political bumper sticker I have ever appreciated....

"McCain/MILF '08"

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!
Except that one where you're naked in church

Welcome to Utah
Set your watch back 20 years.

That last one reminds me of a popular one from way back.

"Welcome to New Hampshire, now leave."

That's "VPILF".