Wouter I admire your tenacity and “can do spirit”… working towards a goal with laser focus. I agree with you that to get a job done there has to be direct, concise communication of ideas.

What I have observed is that often a proposal is made… or questioned… and the one making the comment is personally attacked. I firmly believe there are some that “bait you in” just trying to get a vicious response, but most are not…they just have ideas or questions they would like to have considered… Things that they may have personally experienced that can help keep a project on track or avoid unnecessary set backs. Just as you bring to the table a degree of experience and expertise, so do they. Just like you… they want to be heard and seriously considered.

We all have different life experiences, that when combined, can give us the ability to do things as a group that could never be accomplished on our own. Think about it…collectively the sailors on this forum might represent hundreds of years of on the water experience… what a terrible asset to waste.

The project manager, along with his team, must distill this knowledge into a workable reality, there is not a lot of time for hand holding and touchy feely pleasantries…but one can be brief and to the point as to maximize effectiveness, without personal insults. Anytime the discussion moves towards a personal attack it moves away from the goal that both parties claim they are there to accomplish.

As a leader, you have to stay above the fray, you can’t afford to get in a mud wrestling match with everyone that tries to antagonize you…work on developing the ability to discern the difference between those that are genuinely trying to make a contribution, from those that are just stirring the pot. Ignore the pot stirrers and they will eventually loose interest and go away, keep engaging them and they will continue to haunt you.

As to writing off questions that have already been addressed…remember that there is rarely one perfect solution for a problem…the person that is “blown off” might just have a solution that comes form an entirely different field that you have no knowledge of.

I sincerely offer these suggestions for your consideration.

Best Regards,
Bob